Candyland - I 

As far as I can remember, the only person I ever saw was not a person at all. It was an orange goop with a translucent body. I had many questions when I first met this non-person person. I assume you might have had a few too, but they don’t get resolved—no matter how much time passes.

I thought all I needed was a search engine. I could type in the questions, and I’d have a database of answers. Yeah, none of that is real. There is no search engine. Not even a regular engine. Maybe that’s why I have to walk everywhere on foot.

Which reminds me—there’s no footwear either.
That’s bizarre. No shoes. No slippers.
Not even that monstrosity perpetuated by the leg-cover called Crocs.

"Hey, Candy! Are you spinning out again?"

Yeah. I was. Though I believe it was a pretty linear direction of thoughts—as far as thoughts go.

They live in this large forest with enormous coniferous trees.
I used to think I was the tallest entity in the entire thought bubble.
But then I saw those trees and realized how wrong I was.

You see, I had no data on the heights of various objects, so the only way I could reach a consensus was through my own observation—which, if you haven’t noticed yet, is very misleading.
So, the tallest objects in the world are:
One – Trees.
Two – Me.

"You really need to stop doing that. It's freaking me out."
(It’s the orange goop person talking, just in case you’re confused.)

"Sorry, it's not a spiral. It's just a straight road of thoughts—one leading to the next.
I guess you could say it’s more like I’m a character in a video game, and thoughts are just coins I’m collecting while dodging the trains. I’m yet to assign what the trains are a metaphor for. So..."

"Wait, what’s a video game?"

Damn it. Orange Goop doesn’t know video games.
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that because 
(a) there are more pressing issues that need to be discussed, and 
(b) I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding like a crazy person.
"They’re just this thing that you can play with. I made them up. You don’t have to worry about it, OG."

"Right. Okay, so we’ll start with the updates from last week."

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