Candyland - I

As far as I can remember, the only person I ever saw was not a person at all. It was an orange goop with a translucent body. I had many questions when I first met this non-person person. I assume you might have had a few too, but they don’t get resolved—no matter how much time passes. I thought all I needed was a search engine. I could type in the questions, and I’d have a database of answers. Yeah, none of that is real. There is no search engine. Not even a regular engine. Maybe that’s why I have to walk everywhere on foot. Which reminds me—there’s no footwear either. That’s bizarre. No shoes. No slippers. Not even that monstrosity perpetuated by the leg-cover called Crocs. "Hey, Candy! Are you spinning out again?" Yeah. I was. Though I believe it was a pretty linear direction of thoughts—as far as thoughts go. They live in this large forest with enormous coniferous trees. I used to think I was the tallest entity in the entire thought bubble. But then I saw those trees and realized how wrong I was. You see, I had no data on the heights of various objects, so the only way I could reach a consensus was through my own observation—which, if you haven’t noticed yet, is very misleading. So, the tallest objects in the world are: One – Trees. Two – Me. "You really need to stop doing that. It's freaking me out." (It’s the orange goop person talking, just in case you’re confused.) "Sorry, it's not a spiral. It's just a straight road of thoughts—one leading to the next. I guess you could say it’s more like I’m a character in a video game, and thoughts are just coins I’m collecting while dodging the trains. I’m yet to assign what the trains are a metaphor for. So..." "Wait, what’s a video game?" Damn it. Orange Goop doesn’t know video games. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that because

(a) there are more pressing issues that need to be discussed, and (b) I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding like a crazy person.

"They’re just this thing that you can play with. I made them up. You don’t have to worry about it, OG." "Right. Okay, so we’ll start with the updates from last week."

Popular posts from this blog

Every day

Daily Commute