Candyland - I
As far as I can remember, the only person I ever saw was not a person at all. It was an orange goop with a translucent body. I had many questions when I first met this non-person person. I assume you might have had a few too, but they don’t get resolved—no matter how much time passes. I thought all I needed was a search engine. I could type in the questions, and I’d have a database of answers. Yeah, none of that is real. There is no search engine. Not even a regular engine. Maybe that’s why I have to walk everywhere on foot. Which reminds me—there’s no footwear either. That’s bizarre. No shoes. No slippers. Not even that monstrosity perpetuated by the leg-cover called Crocs. "Hey, Candy! Are you spinning out again?" Yeah. I was. Though I believe it was a pretty linear direction of thoughts—as far as thoughts go. They live in this large forest with enormous coniferous trees. I used to think I was the tallest entity in the entire thought bubble. But then I saw those trees and realized how wrong I was. You see, I had no data on the heights of various objects, so the only way I could reach a consensus was through my own observation—which, if you haven’t noticed yet, is very misleading. So, the tallest objects in the world are: One – Trees. Two – Me. "You really need to stop doing that. It's freaking me out." (It’s the orange goop person talking, just in case you’re confused.) "Sorry, it's not a spiral. It's just a straight road of thoughts—one leading to the next. I guess you could say it’s more like I’m a character in a video game, and thoughts are just coins I’m collecting while dodging the trains. I’m yet to assign what the trains are a metaphor for. So..." "Wait, what’s a video game?" Damn it. Orange Goop doesn’t know video games. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that because
(a) there are more pressing issues that need to be discussed, and (b) I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding like a crazy person.
"They’re just this thing that you can play with. I made them up. You don’t have to worry about it, OG." "Right. Okay, so we’ll start with the updates from last week."